It's day five...and here's what we know so far...
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'Supposing a tree fell down, Pooh, when we were underneath it?'
'Supposing it didn't" said Pooh, after careful thought. Wednesday: This has to be one of the hardest weeks of my life. Way harder than last week's IOC fiasco. My brain has split in two:
I've cried too much this week. In fact we all have. Joe said goodbye to the dogs last night. It was like watching the saddest Lassie film ever. It was symbolic. He wasn't really saying goodbye to the dogs - he will see them again of course. But it was a goodbye to his home. That's the hardest part. If I could have one wish it would be that Joe could come with us. That Wales was his thing. That his friends would be close. Either that or win the lottery. Then I could buy him a car and an apartment. He will always have a home with us. Our home is his. Same goes for Jess of course - but she's a happy little soul and settled. Oh and the washing machine packed up. On Monday. New one arrived today. I'm way past giving a shit now. And the IOC have still not paid my invoices. They have three now. On a happier note...
Today's photo: one from the archives of the Lacie hard drive. Many moons ago when the kids were too cute and before Stu turned hairy and when his right ear was bigger than his left. Monday: our removal guys are doing the packing for us. On Thursday.
This seemed like the best option. Lessen the stress. Ease the move process. So we thought. I honestly don't think that's the case. So far this week (from Saturday onwards) Stu has been removing fixtures and fittings (not included in purchase), filling in holes and touching up the paintwork. He's also managed to put the contents of the spare bedroom and the loft into Joe's (now vacated) room. I have been wandering around aimlessly with a duster, windolene, kitchen roll and a bowl of flash waiting for my moment. If my moment takes too long...I go have a lie down. I am really finding the chaos unbearable. I have an overwhelming urge to go buy a load of boxes and just pack the damned house up. We could have it done by Thursday - apart from two mugs, the kettle, toothbrushes, shower gel, towels, the bedding and clean clothes for Friday. Having Joe gone has knocked me for six. I keep trying to kid myself that he is on holiday. And stop listening out for his cough...or the sound of him dropping something on his bedroom floor. Or waiting for his 'what's for tea' text. Or the 'can I have a lift' one. Or any text. I missed Jess when she moved out. But she was ready to go. Joe wasn't. (Just thought that the stress is making me feel faint...then realised I'm wearing a woolly jumper and it's 26 degrees in the office). But I have felt dreadfully down. And anxious. Anyway...today is Monday and we move on Friday. So today was the perfect time for the washing machine to break. Like totally fucked. And the road surfacing. The council said they would work with us. They started today...at the other end of the road. And will be outside our house on..wait for it..THURSDAY and FRIDAY. I'm seriously expecting the removal van to break down on the way to Wales. Or the lorry to get stuck trying to turn in to our road. Or our buyers to pull out right at the last damned minute (can they do that now that we have exchanged?). My to-do list for tomorrow consists of:
I'll be lucky if I get halfway down that list. Once we get past 'buying' I am highly likely to fall asleep. And now for something completely different: Today's news....WTF?
What the heck is going on. We have enough to worry about with melting ice and plastic whales and dickheads killing wild animals for fun without inventing Killer Ubers. We do not need cars that drive themselves. Seriously. Stop it. And since when did a whack on the arm with a lego brick become a shot in the back of the head? And I'm telling you...the BBC might not have 'photoshopped' that Corbyn photo...but they did distort the proportions. So whilst it feels good to get that all off my chest...I still feel like crap. And I'm still taking a break from FB (two people noticed so far anyway). Today's photo...nothing much to share today. Other than George who spent the day 'helping'. Not a bad mood. A mood board.
Ideas have been going round in my head for months. The big plans for the kitchen, the french doors in the front room, the complete makeover in the attic. And the colours. The themes. So today I have locked myself in the office with tea and toast while Stu is taking down plate racks and repainting walls and skirting. I am the ideas person, i.e. the lazy shit. Most of my ideas will probably come to nothing. But I need to have a vision. So...here's some of my current eclectic inspiration.... It's been another shitfuck of a week. The end.
But really. What the absolute fuck. We started off so well with a visit to the solicitor. Who waved the Deed of Covenant in front of us. She was more excited than we were. So we signed lots of bits of paper and discussed potential exchange and completion dates. Things went downhill from there. Amidst some personal, family upset (which I'm not sharing) I was deeply offended by someone at work. To the point where I was shaking - with anger, disbelief and upset. So I left. On the next flight I could get. I am honestly gutted. I loved the job. But I believe things happened for a reason. I was pushing myself too far and spreading myself too thin. The offensive comment (coupled with additional bad behaviour from same person) pushed me over the edge. I don't imagine it would be fun travelling to work abroad in the week, then heading home on a Thursday, work at home Friday and then head back to Altrincham at weekend to visit family. So, whilst I feel like dog shit, I think it is ultimately the right thing. I will move on and I will forget. My blood pressure will return to normal and my smile will be back. My stress levels will deplete and anxiety will ease off. Over time. I will be at the new house to oversee the work - I might even attempt to sand some woodwork or tear down some wallpaper. But let's not get ahead of ourselves. So I reckon I will get to have my cake and eat it. I'm starting a new chapter, I get the time to spend with my family and friend (I have one) - refreshed and relaxed. And I can take some time to reconsider my work options. Dinner Lady Debbie. How does that sound? Though who knows...maybe Stu and I can work together - interior design and decoration. So long as everyone likes Duck Egg Blue...we're onto a winner. p.s. 15 March and the IOC have not paid my January and February invoices. Which sucks. |
DebbieMe, my life, my family and my travels Archives
November 2022
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